Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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