Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
