We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize