i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
