I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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