Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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