Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
