what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
