You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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