Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
