Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
