Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she looked like the before picture.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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