Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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