she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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