New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
