What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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