don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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