I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she told me i tasted like america
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
