Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
