Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
