i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
