What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You pole danced in your parka.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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