3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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