she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
