I must be too annoying 4 u.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
