they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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