i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
