I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
