Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
