She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
