she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
