I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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