What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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