let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize