no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
