life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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