cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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