Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Green mimosas i think yes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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