This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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