just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
