so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
