Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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