Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
