you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
