wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
