East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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