idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
