yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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