Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Randomize
