i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
