Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
