just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
