i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
