she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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