dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
