Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
