Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Randomize
