If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is my gift to your gina
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
