She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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