So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
