if i can run in heels then i can drive
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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