ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
