I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Oh god it's open bar.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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