So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
