Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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