its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just gift wrapped bread.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
