Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
