she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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